Missing G-String

Lol, doesn't that sound kinky. I came home to my brother apologizing to me. Little bro broke one of my guitar sting while tuning it. I don't know how even... But oh well I'm not angry, I needed to replace them anyways. 

So tired from working on a school project, I'll just post a song for now. It's called Heroes by Mika from his new album that just came out. I always love Mika's songs.

The kids in the hundreds tomorrow
Will march through the door
They're fighting someone else's war
They'll have so many stories to tell
In exchange for a hero's farewell

I wish I could,
I wish I could make you return 
And what if I'll never discern
As you walk to the toll of the bell
You'll be fighting for our heaven with hell

And you don't understand
Why no one else can see
Your blood on me
And my blood on you
But to make you bleed
Is the only thing I wouldn't do

And you know
Heroes aren't meant to survive
So much harder to love when alive
Walk with the devil in your head
You would think you were better off dead

And you don't understand
Why no one else can see
Your blood on me
And my blood on you
But to make you bleed
Is the only thing I wouldn't do

Where can you go?
We fight we earn
We never learn
And through it all
The hero falls

I wish there was a way
To give you a hand to hold
You don't have to die in your glory
To never grow old

The World Reminding Me Of How Naive I Am, Again

Update on yesterday's foolish wish. Fuck the job, I never knew how unprofessional and disgusting an interviewer could be until today. Trusting blindly, my mistake.

That's It, The Music From My Dream...

Having the hardest time concentrating on something to write about. It seems like all I want to ever do now is post up songs. I got to watch a movie with my mother over the holidays called Cloud Atlas, the thing I probably liked most about that break. I'd admit that sometimes it was confusing but overall it was an good movie. Better then a lot of movies I've seen this year. The thing I loved most about the movie was the song the movie's named after, Cloud Atlas Sextet. No vocals but I think that song's so lovely, I tried looking for it on you-tube but can't find the full length version. At least not yet.

Oh and I got a call today about a job interview, a part time cashier job. I need a little income for school and small things on the side. Unfortunately, I never seem to nail these jobs. Even being as simple and low ended as they are ~.~ Wish me luck~

Song of the Week: Lotte Kestner & Daniel Blue- A Way

Been gone a while for Thanksgiving holidays, don't have time to write about that so I'll post another song for now.

I’m sorry
But my heart
Doesn't know well enough
To leave you alone

I’m sorry
But my heart
Doesn't know well enough
To leave you alone

And my hands
Won't stay where they are
Feels like you've been gone
Ten times as long

It feels like fate
Holds us apart but wait
Don't let your heart yet break
There's still a way

A way
Didn't I say
Say that I found it
Already

Ready or not
This is what we have got
No need to fall apart
Push it away

Away down there
Where I don't have to care
Seemed like the perfect pair
So far away

Love
I may be wrong
It seems that you say this
To string me along

Love
I may be wrong
It seems that you say this
To string me along

Still, my heart
And the place where you are
Shouldn't be far
I'll make sure

It feels like fate
Holds us apart but wait
Don't let your heart yet break
There's still a way

A way
Didn't I say
Say that I found it
Already

Ready or not
This is what we have got
No need to fall apart
Push it away

Away down there
Where I don't have to care
Seemed like the perfect pair
So far away

Song of The Week: Passenger- Let Her Go

Well you only need the light when its burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when its burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
Cos love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
Cos you loved her too much and you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when its burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
And you let her go
Well you let her go

Cos you only need the light when its burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Cos you only need the light when its burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Letters to You

Dear Guys at the night club,
   
   Apparently your name doesn't matter. Neither does what you do for a living. Not even your life story or you. We won't care about that. You'll only be remembered by your haircut, your muscles, the way you dressed or your dance moves. Major pluses for looking like a korean celebrity. Yeah, guy with the sexy short mohawk. Guy with the hot abs. Guy with the cute purple vest. Guy with the cyclone moves. Mr. Taeyang. 
  You're all we giggle and talk about the all day after. But you wouldn't mind that because you're just like us. We're the same. And that's all there is. Just hollow hearts filled with a mixture of air and hormones.

False Regards,
Bimbos at the night club


*my thoughts after overhearing my sister and her girls*

Thoughts About the Past

Sometimes I wonder how it would have been like if I stayed and went to middle school and high school with you guys. Perhaps my circle of friends would have turned out much different. Perhaps I would have been different  I wonder how everyone looks like now. I want to see how much life has changed you all.
   Ashley, Patrick, Lacey, Jenny, Matthew... 
I don't even remember the rest. I'm slowly forgetting your names. I've already forgotten your voices and your faces. Yet to me, you're all still those eight year-olds. You are the way I last saw you when I left, all I ever knew. 

But you know, I did go back. Not that any of you were there or any of you would have known. I visited Clarendon two years ago when I returned to Portland shortly for vacation. Which would have been a decade since I had left. They closed down the school. The windows and doors all boarded up. The old playground was still there though, now rusted and un-maintained. Those mountainous hills right behind the school are too, exactly as they were but now I know better that they're really just small mounds. Do you guys remember that baseball field? The ones we played kickball on all day long after school. It's still there too but now it's empty, broken and cold. 

I had started school with all of you. I wish I had continued to grow up with all of you too. It's something I would never know be like yet I still yearn for. Sadly yearning for something that's past and irreversible, something that was out of my control as a child too.

Good Samaritans

So one of my tires got busted coming home from my night class earlier. I don't know how, I only noticed it after the car started making strange noises and began slowing down. It was dark but I pulled it over in front of some random houses. There was a bad burnt rubber smell, the left-side back tire was completely flat and not safe to drive with (I shouldn't had drove it as far as I did). This wasn't my first time, all I needed was my brother here with all the tools. But stupid me, I had forgotten and left my cellphone it at home. As I always do in the worst of times. -_-

Luckily someone was pulling into their driveway, I really hate to bother people but in this case I had to. He was an older gentleman, who was probably in his mid-thirties. I told him I had a flat tire and asked if I could use a phone. Instead, he offered to help change the tires himself. I was surprised but said sure. It meant that I wouldn't have to be stuck here so long. He opened his garage, took out tools and got the tires changed. It was interesting to watch, he had this cool power-tool that easily took off/on the lug nuts in seconds. Something I know would take 5 minutes with a normal cross wrench. After that he told me not to drive over fifty-five and not too far(which is common sense, it's just a spare tire). I thanked him and went on my way. 

It's so awesome how generous and kind people can be when you're in need of help, especially when you're just a stranger to them. I've gotten helped in lots of situations before and in all those, I can say I'm really thankful for. 

Song of the Week: Kim Ah Joong- Byul

바람결이 창을 흔들고
내 키만한 작은 나의 방위로
아름답게 별빛들을 가득 채워주네요
셀수없이 많은 별들은 지쳐있는 나를 어루만지며

내 맘 속에 가득담은 눈물 닦아주네요
많이 아파하지마
날 꼭 안은채 다독여주며
잘자라 위로해주네요

걷지못할만큼 힘에 겨워 아파와도
눈물이 앞을 가려와도
갖지못할 내 사랑 앞에도 나 웃을래요
잠시라도 곁에 행복했던 기억들은 가슴에 간직할게요
두 눈에 수 놓아진 저 별들처럼 영원히

꿈을 꾸듯 다가오네요 유난히도 밝은 나의 별 하나
눈부시게 반짝이며 어깨위로 내려와
자꾸 슬퍼하지마.. 손 꼭 잡은채 날 만져주며
따스히 날 감싸주네요

걷지못할만큼 힘에 겨워 아파와도
눈물이 앞을 가려와도
갖지못할 내 사랑 앞에도 나 웃을래요
잠시라도 곁에 행복했던 기억들은 가슴속에 간직할게요
두 눈에 수 놓아진 저 별들처럼

나 오늘만은 안 울어요 눈물이 가득 차와도
저기 저 별들처럼 나 웃을래요
행복했던 기억 모두 가슴에 간직할게요
두 눈에 수 놓아진 저 별들처럼 영원히

i feel the wind blow in this place
there i see the star beyond this window pane 
shining so bright, here in this night
here i feel the sense of love

deep in my heart i cry for you 
every tear that falls feels like a wound
the stars in the sky gently shine
taking way my pain

i hear a voice gently saying don't be afraid
i feel the warmth come over me, as i sleep in their embrace
and even though i do not have the strength to go on
even though i try to hold on
this love will never ever be meant for me, but i'll keep smiling

even though my dreams won't come true
i'll remember every moment with you
like the stars that shine forever, i'll treasure my love for you

my dream is coming
though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding
it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so dad, it holds my hand

as it touches me and gives me a warm hug
and even though i do not have the strength to go on
even though i try to hold on 

this love will never ever be meant for me, but i'll keep smiling

even though my dreams won't come true
i'll remember every moment with you
like the stars that shine forever, i'll treasure my love for ohhh

only for today, i won't cry through my eyes filled with tears
i want to laugh like those stars ohhhh
i want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
like the stars that shine forever, i'll treasure my love for you

If it is to be, it is up to me.

Alright so I've been writing and also working on transcribing a song's chords by ear most of today. Since the original doesn't quite fit my voice range, I had to move up the pitch of the chords one step higher to make it easier (meh, I already have a weird voice to start with e_e). It's been more a hassle to do then I thought. Got about 90% of the song done, it's not perfect but I think it'll do once I finish.

So not looking forward to classes tomorrow at all, uhgg.

Pineapple Orange Cake

I'm going to do something a little different for today's post, I do blog about almost anything. My dearest had suggested me to do some food/recipe blogging a while back and this here will be the first. It's a relatively simple cake recipe that I learned to do when I was 12 from my aunt Paj. A very light fruity cake that's perfect to enjoy anytime. I prefer it in the cupcake version more (it's the same, I just like cupcakes more) but I did the cake version here for you guys.

*Be sure to pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees*

Pineapple Orange Cake Ingredients

Cake batter:
1 package yellow cake mix (butter recipe)
1 can (11 ounces) mandarin oranges, undrained
4 egg whites (beatened)
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce *can be substituted 1/2 cup of oil*
Topping:
1 can (20 ounces) crushed pineapple, undrained
1 package (3.5 ounce) instant vanilla pudding mix
1 carton (8 ounces) Cool-Whip

I know it say's pineapple chunks, I didn't use that can.
Make sure you use crushed pineapple for the topping!

Pineapple Orange Cake Directions

1. Mix the cake mix with the applesauce and oranges. 

2. Beat up the egg whites until it's slightly stiff and fluffy. Fold in the egg whites until it's all incorporated.

3. Bake it for 30-40 mins (it will greatly depend on your oven but it's ready when the center's firm and it's a golden yellow color).

4. For the topping, mix in the rushed pineapple(juice and all) with the pudding mix first then fold in the cool-whip.

5. Frost the cake with the topping after cake cools and leave in the refrigerator for an hour to set. After that, garnish it as you like eat :)

Nyuaj Siab Ua Luaj, Nco Nco Koj

So very tired... uggh, that sick feeling. I think I was outside too long today, exposed to the cold without proper clothing. It seemed so sunny, I wouldn't have thought twice about it getting that chilly so quickly. I took the transit and went out past downtown to the University's Arboretum, spent probably six hours outside (partially getting lost and partially being stuck). Didn't take pics, it really wasn't as large as I expected. There was a variety of different plants and trees but I would have liked it more if it had a better layout and showcased more cacti and succulents plants. Half a can of orangeade did give me a pick-me-up when I got home earlier but now I'm back to the same exhausted fatigued feeling. Too weak to complete my daily run too, man...

I wasn't able to reach him for a couple of days. I hope he's doing alright, I trust that he'll be fine. He better return safely in one piece. 

Lang Leav

I came across a poem today that I thought was just so clever with the use of words. I looked up the poet and found other works by her. Her name is Lang Leav and she's a writer/poet/and artist. She has a certain style in her work that's usually focused on love or heartbreak. I would characterize it as being sometimes melancholic and dark. I'll share some of her poetry here below. Yep, I know there's lots.  

     

James Blunt & the Song of the Week: Shine On

James Blunt 

If you didn't already know, James Blunt is my all time favorite artist. I remember buying my first album of his (All The Lost Souls) when I was 15 years old. I fell in love with his music ever since. Lost that CD but I have every single one of his songs on my laptop. He has an amazing voice. You can feel the emotions conveyed in certain songs just through his singing. The lyrics are good too, even though they tend to be more on the metaphorical side. I can literally listen to hours and hours of his songs on YouTube. Hopefully one day I can attend one of his live concerts. Below I'm posting the song "Shine On", this won't be the last time I post a song by James. Oh and on an unrelated note, gosh I'm finding it so hard to roll my r's =_=" 

Are they calling for our last dance?
I see it in your eyes, In your eyes
Same old moves for a new romance
I could use the same old lies, but I'll sing,

Shine on, just, shine on
Close your eyes and they'll all be gone
They can scream and shout that they've been sold out,
But it paid for the cloud that we're dancing on
So shine on, Just shine on
With your smile just as bright as the sun.
'Cause they're all just slaves to the gods they made
But you and I just shone
Just shone

And when silence greets my last goodbye,
The words I need are in your eyes, and I'll sing

Shine on, just, shine on
Close your eyes and they'll all be gone
They can scream and shout that they've been sold out
But it paid for the cloud that we're dancing on
So shine on, Just shine on
With your smile just as bright as the sun
'Cause they're all just slaves to the gods they made
But you and I just shone
Just shone

Just Be

So not in the mood to write anything right now. Really really not in the mood. Feeling so stressed with the family, my mother in particular. I wanna go on a long run today...no, I will go on a long run today. I kinda miss being too busy to do anything, to even have free time to be at home. I miss those Kumon kids.

Where's Betty?

I can't believe I'm saying this but it's official, my favorite Adventure Time character is the Ice King. Okay yeah, he's annoying as fuck sometimes and is a complete cuckoo head but there's just so much to like about him. He's portrayed as this goofy villain in the cartoon but damn, he's so beautifully tragic. I didn't start liking him until after learning about his story in "Holly Jolly Secrets" where his life before as Simon Petrikov was revealed in old VHS tapes he recorded himself. But after watching "I Remember You", wow.. I began liking this character so much more. The sad thing is, I don't think he'll ever go back to his former self. But even if he stays as that silly antagonist forever in the show, he'll always be my favorite.

Also to update, I got caught up to episode four of Horse Healer. Some things plot-wise has been predictable, but the story's been interesting and it's looking good so far.

Ma-eui

How did I not know?! Gahh... Horse Healer's out already and it's on episode nine. Damn it ugghh... I've been waiting for this drama patiently since hearing about it in September. I guess I'll just start on it late, but it's totally no fun when you're behind. It's a Joseon era sageuk and will be MBC's 51st anniversary drama. Miss Javabeans is suppose to update me on everything drama related, but I guess I should have kept my eyes on it too. This is definitely something I'll write about as I watch, I don't expect it to be as good as Queen Seondeok but I do expect greatness. Below is the song that came out from Horse Healer, it was the song that updated me about the drama yesterday -_- (yeah still mad about it).

Have you gotten tired from walking and are still resting?

I’m waiting but you’re not coming

The sun is about to set and darkness is settling
But I’m still standing all alone

* I can’t see anything with my eyes
I’m walking alone in the covered darkness
There’s only one thing that will take away my pain and my sadness

As if I lost my sight, I can’t see anything in front of me
Like a dream, everything has stopped

I’m waiting and even my tears are drying
But I can’t see you

* Repeat

The one reason that is us